Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
