put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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