one two three fourrrrnication!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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