Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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