he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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