Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
