Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
