Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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