How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
