I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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