let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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