I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
sex in a hospital.. check
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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