His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
