i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
