I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
