and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
