Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
