Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
