he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There are leaves in my underwear?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
