Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
