i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
