i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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