i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
