haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
