omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have feelings that need drinking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
sex in a hospital.. check
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
