Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
