my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
