i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
