yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
