He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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