His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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