Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
