you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
