I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
