What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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