normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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