So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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