You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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