i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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