i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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