We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
