Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Still dying that you shit outside
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
