i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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