I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
