I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
