apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
