I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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