if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
