chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
