My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
