I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
