And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
